If you ever find yourself dating someone who is insecure about a lot of things and has a tendency to occasionally or regularly struggle with esteem issues, you should know that the relationship will come with some special problems.
But hey! Good relationships are actually useful for building people up. Also because all things happen for a reason, your presence in that your partner’s life could be the exact thing they need to concretize their self-esteem, overcome their insecurities and build real confidence.
So instead of giving up on him or her, here are things you can do to help them overcome their insecurities.
1. Are you really willing to do this?
Before completely getting yourself involved in a relationship with someone with insecurities and esteem issues, you need to be sure that you’re willing and ready to deal with the intricacies and complications of such relationship.
If you’re not sure you can handle it, it’s best to break things off immediately. You really do not need the stress of biting more than you can chew. To thyself be true.
2. Valid compliments
If you have crossed that bridge of honest introspection and have found yourself willing to give things a try, your first task would be to learn the art of giving meaningful compliments.
Compliments are always a great way to boost someone’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Compliment your partner on his/her clothes, hair, smile, features, personality, attitude, and so on. Compliments should be meaningful and you’ll want to be sure that you aren’t giving the same compliment over and over.
3. Respect any boundaries
If your partner is insecure, it’s likely that they’ll have one or two boundaries. Maybe the whole “lights-on” thing is out the window, or maybe showering together is off-limits for now. Whatever the boundary may be, learn to respect it.
This will allow them the opportunity to warm up to you and become comfortable in their own time. You need to respect the pace at which they arrive there. You’d be overbearing and would put them off if you push too hard when they’re yet unprepared for some particular form or level of intimacy.
4. Be supportive
This cannot be overemphasized. Your partner may be sensitive about things like their weight, some other body concern, the way they speak, insecurity about their work, etc.
Some of these things can be worked on and should your partner decide to work on these things, it would be wise to bend over backwards in support. Be there for him or her through the change process.
5. Be prepared for slow change
In the right relationship with the right person, someone who is insecure will slowly but very likely come around. The change won’t happen overnight and you should be patient enough for it.
When it does happen, it’ll be for good and you need to trust the process and let the switch happen in its own time.
6. Always tell them you love them
Validation is key to someone with esteem issues especially if it is coming from someone they love.
That you constantly remind your partner that you love him or her will go a long way, especially if you always make sure to add that irrespective of body insecurities and any other personal thing they may be sensitive about, you love them and would rather them in your life than anyone else.
7. Good listening
An insecure partner will likely talk about his/her problems in random spurts, you’ll want to be sure that you always have a willing and ready ear. Being a good listener will allow you to understand your partner’s problems and worries and will lessen the severity of their insecurity.