Hello Guys! it’s the relationship pilot on 9jahotstars and today we’ll be featuring an interesting Relationship Talk With Bukky. Since you already catch the title, we’ll continue with this line – He is sounding like he doesn’t really want me for marriage but for dating.
I’m 27 years old. Before I agreed to date my boyfriend, during the course of our discussion, he said he is not ready to settle down but that someone will make him ready. I don’t understand… we started dating actually, (we are 3months old in the relationship now).
We got used to each other at some point but suddenly I started noticing some changes. We no longer talk on phone like we used to. The closeness started drifting… I confronted him one day and at the same time I asked him some major questions just to know my stand, he said he doesn’t know if he is wasting my time because he doesn’t know if I am wasting his time too.
He also said he doesn’t really know what he wants that he is in the process of discovering himself. it’s a distant relationship… I’m scared. He is sounding like I’m desperate for marriage. He is sounding like he doesn’t really want me for marriage but for dating.
Who doesn’t know what he or she wants from a man or a woman?
You asked to know who doesn’t know what they want from a woman? I’d say your boyfriend. He does not know.
You need to learn to take people’s words for it. When it comes to this relationship thing, stop helping people paraphrase their thoughts. If that is what he says, don’t help him interpret it. You should take his word for it, even if the impact of the words would hurt you. I think it is better to listen to what they say than try to help them figure it out in a way that suits you.
The way I see it, your boyfriend is ticking all the wrong boxes, saying all the wrong things and really making this relationship conducive.
What’s my recommendation? I think you should communicate as clearly and as fearlessly as possible with him about this. No need wasting your time further than you already have.
You do not need this uncertainty. So ask and know where you stand. Do not be sacred to move on if his answers do not satisfy or reassure you, and if his words do not take away the web of confusion you’re in. Also, his words are not enough if his actions do not complement them. So I really need you to keep your eyes peeled and look out for yourself.
If this is not what you bargained for, it is time to move away to better things. I think that should be your mindset on the matter.
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