We’re emotional like that, Yes!!! many at times I overhear my friends describe me with expressions such as ‘not emotional’, and I wonder, what are the qualities that make one seen as ’emotional’?, Could it be the fact that they’re easily drawn to tears when they witness an ’emotional’ scene as opposed to me?. I’m drawn to tears too, but well,  they don’t drop, they just cloud in my eyes and when they realize there is absolutely no way I’m going to release them, they be like ‘at least we tried’, and go back inside their ducts. I’m really not comfortable with people seeing me cry, I view it as a sign of weakness,  or am I being too hard on myself?.
Okay, I don’t cry at burials. Accepted. But I can explain. I don’t do this on purpose, believe me, but if I don’t know a person personally and he/she happens to die, I could sit there and watch the whole world cry and I’ll be left wondering if I’m medically okay as opposed to my mom and sister who can pass by a burial ground, notice the moody environment and immediately start wailing. Now what if I know the deceased? Fine, I’ll be normal for once and shed tears, but how long I do that depends on the circumstances surrounding the death, the circumstances that will befall the loved ones of the deceased, and our level of familiarity.  Weird. I know. You don’t need to say it twice. I will bawl my eyes out when I hear of the demise but on the day of the burial will be as dry eyed as a tortoise no matter how much I hurt.
I cry when I’m frustrated. Happens every time. There’s this instance I was really looking for a place to enroll in the compulsory SIWES program. All my friends and course mates had found a place or two to attach themselves, I on the other hand was still hanging. I was out of options, then I found a place, a ministry, I couldn’t be happier. Now, the only thing standing between me and that slot was a photocopy of my certificate of origin. I found a place, but the dude would not help me because he asked for my cellphone number (and I actually gave him a wrong one), so I left in hopes that I was going to find some other place. I travailed along Aka road  till I could take it no more. Then Eureka!, the man I was supposed to submit the form to had a photocopying machine right in his office,  I remembered. I better get going before he leaves the office. Maybe if I explained my situation and asked him nicely for help, he will help me out, I thought. I got to the office, and no sooner had I started explaining myself did the man get into a frenzy. He actually ordered me out, read that sentence all over again, telling me to get out and go find a place outside. I don’t know where the waterworks came from, but they helped,  he made a copy for me and I was good to go. Now,  am I emotional enough for you?.
We’re emotional like that but Lest I forget, have you watched ‘ The fault in our stars’, or these Indian movies ‘We are family’, and ‘Like stars on earth’?.  Pretty emotional movies, though.  Oh, you cried right? Congrats, you’re normal. Well, yours truly didn’t feel a thing. I mean, I was touched, went all soft, until I realized all my room mates were crying and I was left out, again. Then the tears clouded, and I was like ‘ could this be my moment of breakthrough’?, the answer was No. They dried off before touching my lower eyelids.
Now, there’s this puppy I was so in love with. It wasn’t mine, was my neighbour’s. But it spent it’s days over at ours. Well, it’s life was cut short by a man with anger management issues. He hit the poor pup with a log, crippling it in the process and eventually the pup died.  Prior to its death, I watched it wallow in pains. It’s hind legs were practically useless so it would shift on its rear end while propelling itself forward with its forelegs, and the first day I witnessed this I cried my heart out. No one expected that from someone who doesn’t cry when humans die, well let’s just say I hate injustice. Oh, and suffering as well. I guess I’m emotional in my own little way.
Bottom line is, I don’t think ones emotional state should be judged by how often they shed tears. We who cry the least, hurt the most, but would not admit it. Yes. We’re strong like that. We dont need to wear our hearts on our sleeve but we show emotions through our actions and body language. It is an advantage as well as a disadvantage.  But blessed be the one who looks past the walls and barricades and sees us for who we really are. I hope we find our special someone.

We’re emotional like that. Written by: Mercee Solomon


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